Page 38 - Islands Business September 2023

Men

So the question
is, why men?
Why are men on
the top chain
of everything?
Why are men
succumbing to
this ‘normal’
behaviour? Do we
have safe spaces?
Our churches,
youth groups,
women’s clubs,
men’s Clubs, are
they safe spaces?

Letitia Shelton (far right) with her parents.

WHERE DO I GO TO TELL MY STORY?

By Kite Pareti have been silenced by the stigma and shame surrounding
mental health, domestic violence, and addiction.
“There’s a nation of men who were abused as little boys, “One issue that has come to the forefront in recent years
who are walking around and are hurting,” says Letitia Shelton. is the proliferation of pornography in our society. It is deeply
Shelton is the author of Disruptive Voices of Pacific Men, an concerning to learn that Fiji is ranked in the top ten countries
idea birthed during the COVID-19 pandemic after talks with a for pornography viewership.
group of Fijians in North Queensland, Australia. “We also rank top in the world with other issues as well. Our
“I shared about disrupting the silence on issues with women percentage rates in HIV have increased tremendously over the
[and] a man stood up at the end [of my talk] saying, ‘I used to years.
abuse women … Where do I share my story?’ “If we look into suicide in Fiji, from January to June last
“About a week later, I ran into Anthony, a Cook Islander guy. year, we lost around 40 people to suicide. This year, from
I shared with him the idea [of the book] and he said to me, January to June, we have lost around 52 people to suicide. 41
‘My grandfather was an abuser, my father was an abuser, and I of the 52 reported cases of suicide were men, and that is an
was an abuser’. alarming number.
“All his kids were taken from him and he’s been to prison. “So the question is, why men? Why are men on the top
Yet, he has turned his life around. He said, ‘I want to share my chain of everything? Why are men succumbing to this ‘normal’
story. Where do I share that?’ So, I realised I needed to give behaviour? Do we have safe spaces? Our churches, youth
men a story.” groups, women’s clubs, men’s clubs, are they safe spaces?”
The new publication uncovers topics about men that are Merekula says the new book is an important step.
rarely addressed. “By engaging men in conversations about mental health,
“We certainly don’t talk about these things. So this book is addiction, and healthy sexuality, we can build stronger, more
an attempt to shed light, saying, yep, men suffer as well, and resilient communities that support the well-being of all
not just from abuse,” Shelton said. members.
She says some names mentioned in the book have been “[Let’s] start addressing the problem. If you don’t address it
changed as they are not prepared to fully come out yet. now, your kids, your friends, your families, will hear it and talk
Speaking at its official launch recently, Jeremaia Merekula about it from somewhere else.”
of Lifeline Fiji, said: “For too long, many in our communities

38 Islands Business, September 2023